Pulled Read online

  She didn’t say anything.

  “Mom, what’s going on?” As distant as we were, the thought of something being wrong with her sent a wave of terror through me.

  “Nothing’s wrong, Melanie. I just miss you. I mean, I miss you, the girl I used to know.” I could hear the sadness in her voice and was certain she was crying. We hadn’t talked like this once in the last nine years, and I wasn’t quite sure how to handle it.

  “Mom...that girl doesn’t exist anymore.”

  An audible sob came through the line. I sagged against the wall for support. This was not where I’d expected this conversation to go.

  “Melanie, sweetheart, I need to come and see you. Will you let me?”

  It was clear how far we’d allowed ourselves to drift from each other when it was obvious neither of us wanted it that way. It was as much my fault as it was hers. She was just taking the first step to make it right.

  She’d dropped by overnight a couple of times when she and Mark were passing through over the years, but I’d never gone to visit her once. I knew this trip would be different.

  “Yeah, Mom. I think I’d like that. When?” The emotion was thick in my words, and I hoped she knew just how much I wanted to see her. I missed her so much, but I’d allowed all of the other hurt I had to cloud that.

  “I was thinking I could come out the week of Thanksgiving and stay during the holiday? Only if it’s not too much trouble. I don’t want to impose on you and Nicholas.”

  I was a little disappointed it would still be eight weeks before I could see her, another confirmation of just how much I needed her.

  “No, Mom, I really do want you here. Please...come.” It was more than an invitation for a simple visit.

  She sniffled, though I could sense her relief. “Okay...I’ll be there.”

  It was time to make right this one thing that had been wronged so long ago.

  Chapter Four

  “Daniel, it’s too late.”

  I wouldn’t listen, refused to accept his words. Instead, I pled, “No. Please. Save her. You have to save her.”

  Hands restrained me, but my body pushed forward, desperate.

  “No!” If I said it enough, I could make it true.

  She couldn’t be gone. I just saw her.

  “God, no. Please!”

  Why weren’t they fighting for her? Why were they all standing here, doing nothing?

  I had to get past him, to go to her, to protect her.

  “It’s too late,” he said the words again, his arms tightening around me as he abandoned his efforts to restrain me in an attempt to comfort me.

  His words crushed me as reality brought me to my knees, images of the perfect face I barely knew flashing through my mind, cutting my soul in two.

  Panic burned through my body and sweat broke out across my flesh.

  The alarm blared, shocking my mind back into the present, bringing me to a consciousness I didn’t want to face. I squeezed my eyes, willing them shut a moment longer, unable to tell what was worse—reliving the nightmare every night or waking to the life I didn’t want to live.

  My stomach rolled, recoiling with the acids burning in my throat. I barely made it to the bathroom before my body rid itself of the ache the only way it knew how, as if the act would somehow give my body peace.

  If only it were that simple.

  The heaves finally subsided, and I sank the rest of the way to the floor, trying to catch my breath and slow my breathing.

  “Fuck.”

  Pulling myself off the floor, I held onto the sink for support. I turned on the water, splashed it on my face, and washed the strain away.

  Every morning, just the same. Tuesday would prove to be no different.

  I showered and dressed, dreading this dinner thing. Feeling desperate, I even considered asking Mom, but figured it would not be cute to bring my mother. I was sure it ran more along the lines of pathetic.

  I walked to the front door, bent over to pick up my bag, and reached for my keys on the entryway table. I paused, looking at the photo atop it, the one of me with my arms wrapped around Melanie. We were both smiling, just moments after I’d walked across the stage for my high school diploma, back when we believed nothing could tear us apart.

  God, I missed her.

  ***

  I arrived at the office just before eight, trying to ignore the steady increase of pressure in my head. I had so much to do. I couldn’t believe the amount of stress one building could cause.

  “Good morning, Lisa.”

  “Good morning, Dr. Montgomery.” Her smile was warm.

  “Any messages for me this morning?”

  “Um...there are a couple here from the answering service.” She searched through the stacks of papers on her desk, digging out the small pile of notes and handing them to me. I tipped her a small nod in thanks and walked into my office.

  Sinking into my desk, I checked my appointments for the day before thumbing through the messages. The first two were from the bank.

  The last was from Vanessa.

  “Shit,” I mumbled under my breath.

  That girl had been hounding me for months. I really screwed that one up. I should have known better, but she’d completely caught me off guard.

  She was a drug rep from one of the larger pharmaceutical companies, and it was clear she wanted to get her foot in the door. I met her the first week we’d arrived in Chicago. A mixer had been set up to get the word out about the new practice, generating interest and referrals right away.

  I knew it the first time I saw her. She was just the same as the rest, looking for an easy way to get ahead and using whatever means she thought would get her what she wanted. She’d sought me out, knowing exactly who I was and what I could do for her. My first instinct was to run. But she was relentless, and I’d had too much to drink.

  Nine years before, I’d learned it best to stay away, but there were times when I became weak, tired—tired of being alone—and I’d relent to the small voice in my head that insisted it was okay. Just like last night. Never once had I not regretted it.

  The first time had been the worst. Stephanie had been my study partner in college. I’d really believed she was my friend. I’d been naive and allowed her to use my pain as a means to get close to me.

  It only happened once, and it was the last time I ever saw Stephanie. I’d been so angry that she’d taken advantage of my vulnerability, angry with myself for being so weak. Later I realized that I’d wanted to believe somebody else could make me feel the same way Melanie had, the complete ecstasy we felt when we were one. But that feeling could not be replicated. Melanie’s body fit mine as if we’d been carved from the same stone, each made for the other.

  She could not be replaced.

  Knowing that, you’d think I’d be stronger, that I’d run from the regret I’d have after waking up next to a girl I knew I could never love or even care for.

  But sometimes experiencing that regret was better than falling asleep alone.

  With Vanessa, though, it was different. It hadn’t been about two people giving into their bodies, succumbing to the physical. It was about someone exploiting another’s weakness.

  She was a predator, and now the bitch thought I owed her something.

  “Shit.” I threw her message down, knowing I couldn’t avoid her any longer.

  To top it all off, I had to find a date for dinner Thursday.

  I picked up the phone and dialed her number. I knew all she wanted from me was free reign to push her product in my office, as if fucking me somehow had earned her that right, and it pissed me off. But I accepted it as my fault; I knew better than to sleep with a rep.

  I prayed it’d go to voicemail, but she picked up on the second ring. “Good morning, this is Vanessa.” Always the professional; it reminded me of the sex, all just part of the job.

  “Yeah, Vanessa, it’s Daniel Montgomery...returning your call.” I didn’t even know what to say. The whole si
tuation made me uncomfortable.

  “Daniel...I’ve been trying to get in touch with you.” Her voice was low and laced with irritation.

  What the hell was I supposed to tell her, that I didn’t want to talk to her and had been avoiding her?

  “Uh, well, sorry. I’ve been busy,” I said as if I couldn’t have spared five minutes sometime in the last three months to return her call.

  “I really need to meet with you.”

  Was I seriously agreeing to this?

  “Uh, sure, Vanessa. I have some free time during lunch on Thursday. Can we get together then?” She started to say something, so I cut her off before I lost the nerve. “Listen, I need a favor.” I couldn’t believe I was about to do this. I raked my hand through my hair, hoping the gesture would give me some kind of courage to see this through. “I have a meeting Thursday night and I need to take somebody. Are you free that night?”

  I felt like I was selling my soul.

  “Are you asking me out after avoiding my phone calls for the last three months?” I couldn’t tell if she was mad or surprised, but it really didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if I actually wanted to go out with her.

  I paused before answering. “I guess I am.” Now I did owe her. I’d just given her what she’d set her sights on five months ago.

  She paused as if she were struggling to find my intent and then released an audible breath into the phone. “Okay...I can go with you Thursday night, as long as we can meet Thursday for lunch.”

  “Fine.”

  There was nothing fine about the whole situation, but what was I going to do?

  “Can you meet me at Tavalindo’s at noon?” she asked.

  “Yeah...I’ll be there.” I hung up the phone and rocked back in my chair, wondering how I got myself into this shit.

  ***

  I glanced at the clock. Noon. I had no appetite, but I had to get out of my small office. I felt caged, irritable.

  I passed through the lobby, throwing Lisa a halfhearted wave as I walked out the front door. I shoved my hands in the pockets of my slacks and walked the half-block to my favorite coffee shop just up the street from our temporary office.

  I ordered my regular, a large latte with a double shot of espresso, careful not to make eye contact with the brown-haired barista taking my order. She handed me my coffee, and I took a sip of it as I stuffed a couple of bucks in the tip jar and mumbled, “Thanks,” before I hurried outside.

  I plopped into a metal chair at a small bistro table sitting on the sidewalk, needing to escape reality for a couple of minutes. Closing my eyes, I raised my face to the sky and allowed my mind to drift in the cool Chicago breeze.

  September 1997

  “Good morning, sweetheart,” Mom said as I walked into the kitchen. I smiled in her direction where she sat at the small breakfast bar with Dad and Erin.

  “Morning.” I yawned and rubbed my face, trying to wake myself up. I filled a bowl with cereal and milk and took my place next to Erin. Dad and Erin were talking about the upcoming school year. Erin was nervous about the two sophomore AP classes she had signed up for, and Mom and Dad were trying to give her encouragement.

  I nudged my sister’s shoulder, her blond wavy hair swaying across her back.

  “Hey, don’t worry about it. I had both of those classes last year. I’ll help you study if you need me to.”

  Erin’s face brightened and she nodded. “Thanks, Daniel.”

  “No problem.” I grinned at her. Of course I’d help her. I adored her, even if she drove me crazy sometimes.

  Dad glanced at his watch and reluctantly stood, draining the last bit of coffee from his mug. “I have to get to the hospital.”

  He patted my shoulder, kissed Erin’s head, and stopped to pull Mom up to him. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her hard, making her giggle against his mouth. She swatted him playfully. “Be good.”

  Erin grinned at me and rolled her eyes while I screwed up my face in mock disgust.

  After Dad left, Mom went upstairs to shower, leaving Erin and me to do the dishes. We chatted a little more about school before Erin’s hazel eyes lit up.

  “Oh, there’s a new girl who started working at the coffee shop last night, Melanie Winters. She just moved here from Texas with her dad. I invited her to come over today.” Erin paused before adding in a singsong voice, “And she’s really pretty.”

  I narrowed my eyes, knowing where Erin was going with this. She was constantly trying to set me up with someone.

  “Not even remotely interested.”

  She frowned at me. “You don’t have to be like that all the time. I really like her. Would it kill you to be nice to her?”

  It wasn’t like I wasn’t nice to her friends, but I suppose I wasn’t exactly friendly, either. I couldn’t imagine this girl was any different than the rest of them, easy with not a brain cell to her name. No, thank you.

  Sure, I dated a bit here and there, but the girls I’d met never held my interest for long. They were all so superficial; all they cared about was how I looked, what I had, and what I could give them. So I didn’t waste my time. It had earned me a reputation of being a dick who thought he was too good for everyone, but I really didn’t care.

  With only two years of high school left to prepare for college, I needed perfect grades since I’d finally decided I wanted to become a doctor. Dad never pushed me, but I knew he’d always hoped I’d follow in his footsteps. He said other than seeing his family happy, he’d never found more joy than in helping someone heal.

  “Fine. I’ll make an extra effort to say hi to her,” I grumbled.

  After helping Mom around the house, I went upstairs to my room to watch TV. I heard a car pull into the driveway and stop in front of the house. A door slammed and then the car drove away. Footsteps echoed on the wooden porch and distant voices seeped into my room.

  I shook my head, trying to focus on the football game. I didn’t care what was going on downstairs. I turned up the TV to drown out the sounds from below, but it didn’t help. It was more as if I could feel the footsteps rather than hear them. When the front door opened and closed, I could ignore it no longer.

  I slipped from my room and down the hall. When I saw her, I froze at the top of the stairs, unable to take my eyes off the girl standing in the middle of the living room, her intense emerald eyes staring back at me. We stood there for I don’t know how long before I tore my eyes away from hers so I could take in the rest of her. Erin had said she was pretty, but her beauty was beyond words. She had long, brown hair that flowed in soft, thick curls all the way down her back. Her skin was pale and smooth like a porcelain doll. She didn’t have Erin’s hourglass figure, but her slender build was gentle with feminine curves, and she was maybe an inch shorter than Erin’s five-foot eight. She wore tight jeans and an old band T-shirt that was a little snug, accentuating the perfection that was Melanie Winters.

  In that moment, I knew I would never be the same.

  Erin cleared her throat.

  “Um, Melanie, this is my brother, Daniel. Daniel...Melanie.” She gestured between the two of us, but it was unnecessary. I was already on my way down the stairs. It was as if there was a magnet drawing me to her. Even if I had tried, I couldn’t have walked away. I reached for Melanie’s hand, not to shake it but to hold it in mine. The warmth of her skin traveled through my body. It was relaxing, but exciting at the same time.

  Melanie looked at our hands, then back to my face and smiled timidly. “Hi.” The sound of her voice sent a shiver rolling through my body.

  “Hi.” I smiled back, still unable to look away.

  “So, Melanie, are you hungry or anything?” Erin sounded cautious, almost awkward.

  Melanie glanced at me, pensive, before slowly withdrawing her hand. “Sure.”

  For the first time in my life, I felt empty as I watched her walk away and trail Erin through the door and into the kitchen.

  Not quite willing to return to my room, I dropped ont
o the couch, picked up the remote, and flipped on the game I’d been watching upstairs. Melanie and Erin’s voices carried through the thin barrier of the kitchen door, muted, yet distinct of each other. Erin’s laugh was loud and substantial, while Melanie’s came soft and gentle, though not inhibited or shy. She sounded comfortable. Quietly confident.

  It took me about five minutes to decide I was hungry, too.

  Silence fell over the kitchen when I stepped in. Melanie and Erin turned to look at me from the small breakfast table where they ate potato chips and drank soda. Melanie’s face spread into a warm smile.

  God, she was so beautiful.

  I held her gaze for a moment before I shook myself out of it and walked across the kitchen to get something to drink. I could feel her eyes on me as I leaned into the fridge and grabbed a soda, and they met mine when I turned to face her, unfailing as I took two steps toward the door.

  I knew I should, but I just couldn’t leave the room.

  “Erin.” I looked at my sister, my eyes pleading, hoping she would understand that I was asking her to leave Melanie and me alone.

  She did. “I’m supposed to be at work at five. I should get ready.” She stood up, looking awkwardly between Melanie and me. I flashed a thankful smile.

  Melanie stood as if she were going to leave.

  I almost panicked.

  “Can you stay?” My voice came out sounding desperate.

  What looked like relief swept over Melanie’s face, and she nodded.

  “I’ll see you soon, Melanie?” Erin asked as if she were trying to gauge what Melanie wanted.

  She turned to my sister, giving her a hug. “Yeah, I would like that. Thank you for inviting me over.” Her voice was soft and kind, sincere. Erin grinned at us, her eyes glinting with approval and just a little smugness as Melanie stepped to my side.

  No doubt, I was going to hear it from my baby sister later.

  The door swung closed behind Erin, leaving us alone.

  I stood inches from her, staring into the warmth of her green eyes, feeling emotions I’d never felt before.