Stand: A Bleeding Stars Stand-Alone Novel Read online

  Maybe it was just exhaustion. I hadn’t managed to catch even a wink of sleep last night. Not that it could have been considered night since I’d finally stumbled through my door when the sun was breaking the horizon.

  I’d stayed to talk with the officers on the scene until well after the ambulance had carried the girl away.

  They’d asked me to show up here at ten to answer more questions.

  Thing was, I couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was off. The unsettled sense that time had continued to spin on while I felt stuck in that dark hour.

  Would time have ended for her had I not been there? Which led me to wondering what would have happened if things had ended up going down in a blaze of bullets and maybe time would have ended for me, too.

  What then?

  What about him?

  Was it wrong I’d been willing to take the risk? Couldn’t have stopped myself if I’d tried, anyway.

  Hell, what kind of influence would I be for Liam if I hadn’t stood up for what was right?

  But since the smoke had cleared, my head was spinning with my responsibilities. With duty and obligation. Guilt rose, like it could take hold of all the emotions clotted in my chest, and tried to eclipse the nagging, almost frantic urge to seek her out.

  I knew her full name.

  It wouldn’t be all that hard to find her.

  I just wanted to make sure she was okay. To see her face and know this girl, who clearly was good and pure, wouldn’t be held back by the scars that bastard had every intention of inflicting.

  Maybe I wanted to see if this foreign feeling simmering in my gut was real. This overwhelming need to brush my fingers against her skin and let her know my touch would never hurt her.

  It was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Not since I lost her. Not since my life had quite literally been twisted in two.

  And that feeling right there was the very reason I had to make sure I stayed away.

  I couldn’t afford it. Not when it would cost me everything.

  “If I remember anything else, I’ll call you,” I told the investigator.

  He gave me a nod. “I appreciate that.”

  I dipped my head once before I headed out into the hall and toward the waiting room out front. Guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when I found Ash and Anthony sitting in the hard, plastic chairs lined against the wall.

  The second they saw me, both of them shot to their feet.

  Ash’s entire being sagged with relief. “Zee... Thank God. Took you long enough in there. I came as soon as Anthony told me what was going down. I was out here about to lose my mind.”

  Ash Evans was Sunder’s bassist. He was just about as cool as they came. Always quick with a grin and at the ready with a taunt or a tease, but none of it was done with spite or malice.

  When I’d stepped up and taken my brother’s place as drummer in the band seven years ago, Ash had been there, taking me under his wing. For years, he’d lived this over-the-top lifestyle, the guy a poster child for the old sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll cliché.

  And when the guy did it, he did it to the extreme.

  That was until the day he’d found his wife, Willow, and realized there were better things to be living for.

  Ash pulled me in for a hug, clapping me on the back. “Fuck, man, you scared the shit out of me.”

  I clapped him back. “All’s good, man.”

  From over his shoulder, Anthony, Sunder’s manager, caught my eye. Worry was written across every line of his face, the guy brimming with questions and concern.

  Because when something happened to one of us? It affected all of us.

  Protecting us was Anthony’s job. The crazy thing was he didn’t do it out of obligation or for a paycheck. He did it because he cared. He was no less a member of this mismatched family than any one of us.

  Back before Sunder had made it, when the band was only beginning and was still made up of Mark, Sebastian who everyone called Baz, Lyrik, and Ash, Anthony had been at a show and seen the raw talent they possessed.

  He’d taken them on as their manager, and stood by them through thick and thin.

  Through all the bullshit trouble Lyrik and Baz had gotten themselves into during the early days of the band.

  Through the tragedy of the band finding my brother, Mark, OD’ed on their tour bus and me stepping in to take his place.

  He’d been there when the brutal truth of Mark’s death had come out.

  My guts clenched in regret and the gratitude I would always, always have for Anthony. Because Anthony was the only one who knew. He knew what I’d done. He knew what I had destroyed. He knew I was responsible.

  Of course he’d tried to convince me everyone made mistakes. That everything was forgivable if you were truly sorry you committed the sin.

  I knew better.

  In the end, when I was adamant I was going through with it, he’d been the one who had facilitated the paperwork and the agreements so I could get away with my lies and live these two lives. Each of them flimsy and hinging on my ability to keep one from spilling into the other. Otherwise that dam would overflow and everything would go crashing down.

  Which was why I did my best to lay low in a world where I’d always be in the limelight. Keeping quiet and behind the scenes. Keeping my actions on the straight and narrow so there’d be nothing to get the paps talking and digging.

  Wasn’t all that hard for a drummer, anyway.

  Ash stepped back, still hanging on to me by the outside of my shoulders and looking me up and down. Like he was making sure I was still in one piece.

  Like I said, I didn’t exactly have the reputation of a fighter. Didn’t mean I couldn’t hold my own.

  Ash looked me square. “What the fuck happened, man?”

  I flexed my fists, stretching out my knuckles that were beat to hell. Scabs were beginning to form on the torn up skin. “I went to go visit an old friend. Was walking home and heard a girl calling for help. Just did what I had to do.”

  Incredulous, his brow rose. “You went to visit an old friend…in the middle of the night…on the shittiest side of town? That’s some stupid shit, dude. You know better than that. And what friend was so important?”

  This was the part I hated—misleading the guys. Making them believe I was someone I was not.

  I kept my answers as vague and boring as possible. “Just someone I knew back in high school. It wasn’t a big deal until I walked up on the shit that was definitely a big deal.”

  “So you jumped in.” Ash said it like he was proud.

  “Yeah.” Like I’d do anything else.

  A smirk kicked up on his mouth, the one the dude just loved to wear. “Look at that, our little Zee Kennedy, stepping into the ring. Never thought I’d see the day.”

  There was nothing little about me, but it sure as hell was the stigma I’d always worn. Mark’s younger brother who’d stepped into his big brother’s shoes that never quite fit.

  It was easier that way, pretending I didn’t want anything else.

  Needing to get the attention off myself, I turned it on him and shot him a wry smile. “Watch yourself, asshole. At least it wasn’t me getting my ass kicked.”

  Enough time had passed that I could tease him about the pack of assholes who’d attacked him and left him for dead more than a year ago back in Savannah.

  “Ouch,” he inflected with about as much feigned offense as he could find. “That’s a low blow, man. A low, downright, dirty blow. That shit was five against one. Pussies. Every last one of them. But hey, what’s that they say? You’ve gotta wade through the shit to get to the good waiting on the other side? And I’d gladly wade through shit every day of my life if it brought me to my Willow.”

  I lifted a brow. “I’m pretty sure no one said that except for you.”

  He lifted his hulking, tattooed arms out to the side in that over-the-top, cocky way. “What can I say? I’m wise beyond my years. Quote that shit.”


  My laughter was incredulous. “What you are is ridiculous.”

  His phone rang from his pocket and he dug it out. “Speaking of Willow, I’d better take this. If you thought I was freaked out over this, wait until you see her. Just warning you, man, you’re in so much trouble. Prepare yourself to be mom’ed right after I convince her you are, in fact, okay.”

  “Oh, shit,” I muttered, roughing a hand through my hair as a flash of affection pulsed at my chest.

  All the girls were the best. Doting on us, covering us in all their love and support. Especially me, considering I was the only one not paired up, the permanent bachelor in this family that’d grown with each passing year.

  Every single one of the guys had gotten damned lucky, that was for sure.

  Ash grinned. “Tell me you don’t love my woman taking care of you.”

  I widened my eyes. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  Truth was, I loved Willow to pieces.

  He was chuckling under his breath when he accepted her call and paced away to talk to her.

  As soon as he did, Anthony closed the space between us, his head angled and his voice lowered to keep the conversation between us.

  “What happened out there, Zee? This isn’t good. Paps are talking about it. Of course because they love to twist it to fit into whatever they want to see, they’re pegging it as some sort of brawl over a girl, claiming you have some secret lover.”

  “Shit,” I hissed beneath my breath. I shook my head and fought against another rush of that rage that flooded my nerves.

  I eyed Anthony seriously, gritting my teeth. “She sold the house, man. I went over there last night and found the new owner there instead of her. Now she’s living a half mile down the street from where we’d gotten her out of in the first place.”

  He reared back an inch, anger tightening his jaw. “Goddamn it. And the money?”

  I shrugged through the resentment. “Gone.”

  He raked a frustrated hand over his face, words grit. “She’s unbelievable.”

  I glanced over at Ash, who still had his back to us, then I turned my attention back on Anthony. “I don’t know what the hell to do. Veronica might be a bitch, but the one thing I could always do was trust her to take good care of him.”

  Anthony tensed. “What you need to do is get him out of there.”

  “You think I don’t want that?” Fear pounded at my chest. “But you know if I push for it, she’s gonna run. You were the one who told me all along I don’t have any rights.”

  Anthony threaded his fingers through his hair. “If you could prove she’s neglecting him, you might have a chance, but I’m not sure moving him into an area you don’t approve of is going to qualify as that.”

  A frustrated sigh filtered out. “Never should have put that house in her name.”

  I could feel him struggling not to give me a look that screamed I told you so. “She’s a pro at manipulating you, Zee. She’s been from the beginning.”

  Emotion throbbed in my throat. “I just can’t take the chance of her running. Losing him would kill me.”

  His tongue darted across his lips as he processed. “You’re in town for a while. Keep tabs on her while you’re here. Find out what’s going on with her. Document it. That way, we have evidence if you decide to make a move.”

  “I’d do it in a second, Anthony….but this life? Traveling? On the road? I don’t want that for him. Besides for that, he loves his mom. Wouldn’t think about taking him away from her unless he was in danger.”

  “I understand that.” He set a hand on my shoulder. “You’re a good man, Zee. I know you don’t think it, but you’ve sacrificed yourself for everyone else. Last night, you did it again, as stupid as it was.” He sent me a half grin.

  “You know that’s not true. But what happened last night…I’d do it all over again. Wouldn’t even think twice about it.”

  “If I were in your place, I would’ve done the same damn thing.” He squeezed my shoulder tighter. “There’s no shame in helping someone, but you’ve got to know with being in the spotlight the way you are, people are going to talk. You’ve got to be prepared for that and what it might mean. How Veronica is going to react to it.”

  “I can’t be ashamed about what I chose to do.”

  Ash was suddenly there, picking up on the last bit of the conversation. He slung his arm around my neck and started hauling me toward the door, smirking over at me as he did.

  “So, now that we’ve got all the heavy shit out of the way, why don’t you tell me just who it was you were visiting in the middle of the night. Time to fess it up, man. Tell me my boy here is finally getting some action, because that shit’s just not normal. All the lovely ladies throwing themselves at you at every turn, and you shooting down every advance? I’ve been thinking it’s about time to stage an intervention. Hell…last time I saw you with a girl you were just a kid…bet you didn’t even shave.”

  I tried not to flinch.

  I’d been deflecting this same thing for years. The constant razzing from the guys. All of them assumed I was some kind of freak since I didn’t hook up. I’d always just let it slide right off my back, because in the end, it didn’t matter. They didn’t know any better because they had no clue what I’d lost.

  “Not like that,” I told him.

  “That’s a shame, man. A damn shame. The whole fighting thing? No shame. The no getting laid thing? Shame. Kick ass? No shame. No ass? Shame. Are you sensing a pattern here?” Ash’s eyes were wide with the ribbing.

  I chuckled under my breath. Only Ash. “Always such an asshole,” I muttered.

  Ash squeezed my neck tighter. “But you know you love me.”

  His voice dropped. “Seriously, though. I’m glad you’re okay, man. Don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. You need to be careful.”

  “I know, I will.”

  Anthony held the door open for us and we stepped out into the day. Sunlight held fast to the sky, the air warm and thick.

  I froze as a fresh pulse of that protectiveness I couldn’t shake slid through my senses, twisting my guts and tightening my chest.

  Ash stopped at my side, and Anthony finally slowed and turned when he realized neither of us were moving. I could feel their questions swirling through the air while I stood there staring like some kind of fool.

  Because I knew that was exactly what this made me.

  But I couldn’t focus on anything but the girl who was walking my way. Couldn’t feel anything but that tremor of energy that had flamed at my insides and spurred me forward last night.

  In the light of day, it was just as strong, but somehow different. Muted to a slow burn that churned in my spirit as my gaze roamed her body. Desperate to find her whole and unbroken.

  Felt like the ground shook below me when her head jerked up and she found me standing there.

  My breaths came harder and harsher with every timid step that brought her in my direction. Her bottom lip was held captive between her teeth, and lines pinched between her brow as she watched me like I might be a figment of her imagination.

  She came to a stop two feet away.

  The space between us was alive, rippling and shivering and searching. Like maybe our souls recognized the gravity of what’d gone down last night.

  Paths had been shifted. Fate deflected.

  I knew I was a bastard for even letting myself think it after what had happened.

  But fuck.

  She was pretty.

  So goddamned pretty with her red cupid mouth and her little crinkled nose. Her hair was long and almost white, piled in a messy knot high on her head. Wild pieces fell out like they refused to be contained.

  My eyes traced every inch of that heart-shaped face, and something shocked through my senses when I let my gaze slowly glide down her body.

  The girl was tight and tiny and sweet.

  Delicate and strong.

  Curved and soft and brave.

  My fi
ngers twitched and those knots in my stomach twisted in an entirely different way—attraction, lust, and curiosity.

  Shit.

  I couldn’t feel any of those things, but there they were, thriving in that space between us.

  But it was the bruise marring the hollow beneath one of those smoky eyes that sent a crackle of anger pulsing through the frenzy already lighting up my veins. The tiny cut on her lip that nearly sent me into a tailspin.

  I ground my teeth, hit with the overpowering need to track the bastard down.

  Awareness spun, and her teeth released her lip, both of them parting on a breath as she stared up at me.

  And there was absolutely not a goddamned thing in the world I could do but let my fingers flutter out, not quite touching as they drummed over the spot where he’d hurt her.

  I wanted to erase it.

  But this girl—this girl who hadn’t left my mind for even a second since they’d closed those ambulance doors and they’d taken her away—she smiled.

  She smiled at me in some kind of wonder that ripped through me like a raging storm.

  With a trembling hand, she reached up and took hold of my fingers that flitted close to her face, never looking away when she brought them to her mouth and pressed the gentlest kiss against my skin.

  That simple gesture burned through me like a wildfire.

  There was no sound, but I felt the whisper of her words as they moved against my fingers. “Thank you.”

  Two of the easiest words. I wasn’t sure I’d ever heard them ring with such magnitude.

  I stood there feeling my world coming apart around me.

  I could feel it. The goodness and grace. I wanted to lean in and inhale it. Suck it down and take it inside. Make it a part of me.

  I blinked, the words so thick it was difficult to form them. “I’d do it all over. A million times.”

  Her mouth trembled and her eyes glistened, her gaze sweeping me for the flash of a second before she turned back to stare at my face. Her voice shook with emotion. “I don’t doubt that for a second.”

  “Come on, Alexis. We need to get inside. They’re expecting us.”

  My attention shifted to the woman who spoke with some kind of quiet understanding. She was maybe a handful of years older than the girl standing in front of me. They resembled each other enough that I came to the quick conclusion they had to be sisters.