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  Why did people keep telling me that?

  Baz leaned one hip against the big island that took up a ton of space in my even bigger kitchen. The kitchen area opened up to the cozy entertainment room that overlooked the sprawling back yard. I loved the whole great room vibe, the room’s one large space closed off from the rest of the house, giving it an enclosed, secluded feeling.

  He took a sip of his beer, that stare of his hard, like he was driving home a point.

  “How is this not a good idea?” I defended, trying to bite back my laughter. “I think this just might be the best idea I’ve ever had.”

  “I think we already established all your ideas are bad.”

  “Hey now, hey now, that’s not very nice. You’re really tryin’ to rip me up here, aren’t you? And I can’t think of a better way to let the world know Ash Evans isn’t going anywhere than getting back on a stage.”

  “I thought you were supposed to be out for six weeks?” Austin frowned from across the kitchen as he tossed a bottle cap into the trash.

  “He is,” Baz said, widening his eyes at me as if to say, “See, everyone knows your ass is supposed to be sitting this out.”

  “Yeah, and the fucking paparazzi has been speculating my demise ever since. Lurking out on the street in front of my house, trying to snag a pic. Hell, half of them think I’m actually dead and are sitting around waiting on my publicist for the confirmation. One chick wrote some blog post about her life ending because mine had. Not cool, man. Not cool. I need to rectify the situation.”

  Baz pointed at me. “You know you aren’t supposed to read that shit.”

  “And what the hell else am I supposed to do during the day? I’m bored as fuck over here by myself. I mean, except for Zee over there…” I hooked my thumb at Zee, who was lounged back on one of the double chaises set up in the great room. “But considering boring is the dude’s middle name, he isn’t helping matters any.”

  The dude was as cool and casual as they came, and he’d been my roommate ever since the rest of the band had started branching out and finding lives of their own. Putting rings on their girls’ fingers and starting families.

  Not once had I ever seen him hook up with a girl. Or a guy for that matter.

  Zee scoffed. “Whatever, asshole. You know you can’t live without me. And don’t pretend like you haven’t had ‘company’ over here every single day this week.”

  Lyrik, our guitarist, chuckled. “Ah yeah, I think it’s about time you filled us in on this whole ‘redecorating project’ you have going on.”

  Asshole had the balls to toss up air quotes.

  “What? My bedroom suite is the last spot in the house that needed to be redone. I had a need, and I found someone to fill it.”

  “I bet you did,” he shot back with a salacious grin.

  “Not like that.” I gave a shake of my head. “Went over to the girl’s shop to thank her—”

  It was beginning to come like second nature—the sudden rage that vibrated my spine when the onslaught of images hit me. Those five faces were getting harder and harder to forget. I was so accustomed to bein’ that easy-go-lucky guy. Built my life on it. But there was just some bullshit that was impossible to ignore.

  My throat felt tight, and uneasiness had me scratching at the back of my neck with my index finger. “Honestly, it felt odd going back over there, where it happened. But the second I went inside, I knew this girl was talented, so I figured what the hell.”

  So maybe I left off the part about how I couldn’t get her out of my mind. That was ammunition none of these assholes needed.

  “Oh, come on, Ash,” Austin said, crossing from the counter and leaning his forearms on the island. “Fifty grand just for someone to come in and give you design suggestions, which doesn’t include any of the actual costs? That’s insane. Hell, I’d do it for twenty-five.” He clapped his hands together. “Boom. Bargain. It’s a win-win.”

  “Right, like your lazy ass would lift a finger around this place.”

  Laughing, he arched a brow. “All I’m sayin’ is I don’t believe for a second there isn’t something else going on.”

  “I’ve got the money to spare. Besides, she’s working some original pieces herself. Doing the painting. Ordering supplies. Managing. All that shit. Room’s gonna be kickass.”

  “I don’t know,” Baz baited. “Seems to me my baby brother might have a valid point. Let me guess how this went down…super-hot savior chick rescued your ass, you got a good look at her, and you decided fifty grand was a good trade for dipping your dirty hands in the honey pot for a couple of days.”

  Normally, I’d laugh it up with my crew. Because nothing they said would be anything but the truth. Because it was all in fun. No harm, no foul.

  Not this time.

  Protectiveness swelled. It was a feeling that was so foreign, so unsettling, it made me grit my teeth together. My voice was harsher than I intended. “Doubt very much I’d be standing here today if it wasn’t for that girl. Found out through the grapevine she was in a bit of trouble. And if there’s anything I can do to help her out, then I’m going to do it. I owe her.”

  The smiles slid off their faces, and something heavy took to the mood.

  Baz hefted out a sigh and worry cut a path across his forehead. “And how are you gonna be sure this girl isn’t going to take advantage of you? I mean, don’t forget where that got you last time.”

  Panic rushed me.

  What the fuck?

  Baz knew well that was a topic not to be broached. Considering he hadn’t brought it up in all this time, he knew it, too.

  Still, I went for light. “Nah, man, it’s nothing like that. I promise you, she’s one of the good ones.”

  The double doors leading to the great room suddenly swung wide open and Shea strutted in, carrying a bunch of bags.

  “Who’s one of the good ones?” she asked.

  A tumble of all the people I loved most in this world followed in behind her.

  Kallie, Shea’s daughter who Baz had adopted, bounded in with a mess of those blonde ringlets flying all around her, and her baby brother, Connor, struggled to keep up.

  Of course, Brendon, Lyrik’s son, was at the helm, hollering over his shoulder for them to try to catch him.

  Leader of the pack.

  Because that was just the way the kid was.

  Tamar came in behind the kids, holding Adia, her and Lyrik’s daughter. The kid was all wild black hair and big blue eyes and adorable smiles.

  My baby sister, Edie, was the last to step through the swinging door.

  At the sight of her, affection and regret swirled through my spirit.

  It damned near gutted me every time I saw her, even though I did my best to keep it contained. To pretend I didn’t want to come unhinged every time I thought back to that night. The night when I’d set her at the wolves feet when she was fourteen—little more than a baby—and let them sink their razor-sharp teeth into her.

  Even worse, I hadn’t found out until last year. That night seven years ago? I’d been too wrapped up in my own damned mess. That same brutal night when my sister was being destroyed was the same night my world was coming undone.

  Guilt rose up like a storm.

  I bit it down, shook off the morbid thoughts, and forced a smile and lightness into my voice. “Oh, hell yeah, day is made. All my favorite people are here!”

  I lifted my hand out to the side for Brendon and Connor to give me a high five as they ran through my kitchen. Brendon jumped up, slapped my hand, and shot me one of his badass grins.

  That one was bound to be a heartbreaker.

  Connor did his best to keep up, stopping right in front of me and focusing on his jump. “Got you, Uncle Ash!”

  Of course because Shea and Sebastian couldn’t keep their damned hands off each other, they’d had Connor about the second they’d gotten hitched. The three-year-old basically spent his days trying to keep up with the “big kids.”

&nbs
p; “Heck yes, you did. You got me good.”

  Brendon started running circles around the island, stirring up trouble.

  So damned much like his dad.

  The three kids took off again. My house may as well have been a playground, but you sure as hell wouldn’t hear me complain.

  “How about we take this game outside?” Shea’s voice held a tinge of reprimand, though her face was easy-going smiles.

  I moved across the space, dipped down, and pecked a big smacking kiss to her cheek. “Hush it up, fun sucker. What do you think this big house is for? Fun and fun. Oh, and more fun. Isn’t that right, Kallie O’Malley?”

  “Yep, yep, yep!” she hollered from the other side of the island. Her hand was now all wrapped up in Brendon’s.

  Shea pointed at me. “Now, don’t go calling me fun sucker, mister. Who is it who came to feed y’all, while the rest of you run around—”

  “Having fun,” I supplied real quick, cutting her off with another kiss to her cheek.

  Baz chuckled. “Watch yourself, man. I see you over there, kissing on my wife.”

  I held one hand up. “Hey now, hey now. I’m just spreading the love around. Shea looked a little lonely when she stepped through the door, so I figured it was on me to step in and make sure she wasn’t missing out on the good things in life.”

  He lifted an eyebrow before chuckling low and embracing her from behind. “Oh believe me…she’s not missin’ out on anything.”

  Lyrik took Adia from Tamar. He lifted her up high in the air, making the six-month-old baby girl laugh and flail.

  With a grin, he pulled her down and set her protectively against his chest. The man was nothing but a sappy puddle of goo when it came to his family. This was the first year he got his son, Brendon, for an entire month during the summer. Thank God, he’d manned up and went back and made things right with the kid’s mom a few years back.

  I let my attention slide to where Austin moved toward my baby sister. Finding out they were hooking up was a bit of a shock, but they were perfect for each other.

  Edie pulled herself out of his arms and moved my direction. Eyes the same color as mine brimmed with worry. “How are you feeling?”

  “Perfect.”

  She scowled. “Come on, Ash. There is no way you feel perfect.”

  “Yeah, claiming that shit isn’t gonna win you any spots on the stage, either.” Lyrik grinned. Asshole.

  I lifted my hands, palms out. “Better, okay? Way better.”

  A soft smile pulled at my sister’s mouth. “Good. Now I can kick your ass for being so stupid to go and get yourself in a brawl.”

  “Not necessary, I plan to do it for you, Edie,” Baz added, cocky smile on his face as he stared over at me.

  I pointed his direction. “Watch yourself, man, you know I can take you in a second flat. Besides, I just might need to enlist your help one of these days.”

  Lyrik stepped forward with his daughter cuddled in his arms. “Which is just another reason to keep you out of Charlie’s. Last thing we need is for you to go looking for trouble. God knows you know exactly where to find it.”

  “Says the pot to the kettle.” I added all the teasing affront I could find.

  Lyrik chuckled. “Touché, my friend. Touché.”

  “Um, there will be no enlisting my man’s help in any of that business,” Shea said. “And don’t think you distracted me with all this crazy talk. I want to know who’s one of the good ones.”

  Of course she did.

  Tamar’s red lips stretched into one of her signature sexy smirks. “I’m going to guess this has something to do with Willow. Ash’s guardian angel.”

  “Oh, my Tam Tam.” I said it like a warning with a glare her direction.

  Tamar hiked a single shoulder. “What?”

  Shea rubbed her hands together. “Ohhh…I like this talk of guardian angels. Is she pretty? Nice? A cowgirl or a city girl?” Her attention darted to the ceiling. “You know all those rooms upstairs are begging to be filled. Still got my hundred bucks on you needing to paint them pink and blue instead of those lavish extra rooms you’ve got up there. Total waste.”

  Did my best not to let her razzing hit me in the wrong spot.

  No.

  Not ever.

  I’d never let myself feel that way again.

  I kept that smile plastered to my face.

  “Think I might have to up my ante on our bet. Blue and pink bedrooms. All. Of. Them,” she issued like a threat. “Double or nothing. There are these super cute boots I saw in the window of Tomgirl’s last week. Come to momma. Pretty sure my man here would appreciate them.”

  “You do remember you tossed out that bet more than three years ago? How long am I going to have to wait for the pay up?”

  “Until I win, of course.”

  A sound of disbelief drifted out with my smile. “And just how is that fair?”

  “Oh, it’s fair. Believe me, it’s fair.”

  “Not gonna happen,” I said.

  Crazy how women assumed just because I wanted to live my life without a bunch of bullshit attachments they thought I was missin’ something. They couldn’t imagine anything different than me having a big hole in my soul aching to be filled.

  Well guess what? Those attachments were what created those holes in the first place. No thank you.

  Austin butted in, “Yet you have the girl you’ve been chasing decorating your room. Sounds pretty domestic to me.” He smiled. All teeth.

  “Not chasing her.”

  Almost sounded like a lie.

  Because, shit, a part of me wanted to chase her. Catch her. Hold her. Just for a little while.

  A huge crash shook the walls in the next room where the kids were playing. Glass shattered, and the little voices that had been shouting went suspiciously quiet.

  “Oh my goodness, you two are gonna tear down this house,” Shea hollered.

  Brendon peeked his head through the doorway. Eyes just as dark as his dad’s brimmed with worry and guilt. “Momma Blue, we need your help in here. STAT.”

  Tamar laughed and shot Shea a smile before heading into the sitting room.

  Baz tossed a disturbed scowl Lyrik’s way. “Dude…our kids…put them together and those two are nothing but trouble.”

  “Thick as thieves, brother. Just wait till they’re teenagers. Just wait. Gut tells me we’re gonna have to keep that shit under lock and key.”

  “Don’t even go there, man, don’t go there.”

  Lyrik laughed. “We’ll know to get concerned when they figure out they’re not actually cousins. But hey, that’s a good lookin’ kid and he’s got my blood flowin’ through him, so…” Lyrik delivered the last with a cocky shrug.

  Austin laughed as he crossed the room, snagged a chip from a bowl, and popped it into his mouth. “You really think Kallie Bug fell for that shit, Baz? She’s a whole ton smarter than you give her credit for.”

  “What are you talkin’ about, smarter than I give her credit for? Little Bug’s as smart as a whip, which is precisely why she’ll have zero interest in boys until she’s at least thirty. Maybe forty.”

  Shea giggled, hiked up on her toes, pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. “Oh, Daddy Bear, you have a lot of lessons coming your way.”

  He grunted. “Don’t break my heart, baby.”

  “Hey, I thought that was my line…you coming and stealing My Beautiful Shea right out from under my nose. Heart. Broken. I still can’t believe you went and done me that way. The atrocity.”

  I jammed my fist against my chest, driving in that imaginary knife and pitching the guy who was one of my best friends in the world—one of the few people in this world I was wholly devoted to—a joking grin that was purely that.

  A joke.

  He punched at me, refusing to let go of his wife while he did it. “Watch yourself.”

  Laughing, I moved out of his line of fire.

  I always, always watched myself.

  I knew the b
oundaries.

  I knew where a good time crossed into the land of the perilous.

  I might have toed that line. Walked beside the flames.

  Didn’t matter.

  I never allowed myself to get close enough to get burned.

  I smacked my hands together. “Now, about that show…”

  twelve

  Willow

  How he’d convinced me to come tonight, I didn’t know.

  This was so not my scene.

  I was in knots. Tied up, twisted knots. Knots of confusion and want.

  Blue eyes flashed when he looked down at me and wrapped his big hand around mine. Blue eyes the color of the Caribbean.

  Endless.

  Bottomless.

  A rush of chills shivered down my spine, and I clung tighter to his hand as he led us through the throng of people packed in the dark, hazy bar.

  He’d told me he and his band were going to play at a place called Charlie’s, which wasn’t all that far from my shop. I almost declined. Almost. Then he told me he wanted me there, for me to be a part of the first show he’d play since what’d happened.

  There was nothing I could do.

  I’d simply nodded and said I’d be here.

  This man made me…unstable. Shaky and irrational. He was making me desire things I’d never desired before.

  Things I knew would wreck me if I gave up and gave in.

  He was steadily gaining the strength to splinter me into a million unrecognizable pieces.

  Kindling for a devastating fire.

  Ash parted the crowd without a word.

  It seemed there wasn’t a single person in the massive, ancient building immune to his presence.

  To his power.

  I was sure I felt it most.

  He was met with hellos and claps to the back. Not to mention the hungry gaze from women obviously eager to sink their claws into his skin and devour him.

  Jealousy stabbed me in the chest.

  God.

  It was an emotion I couldn’t afford.

  Not with this man.

  But tonight, with my hand wound in his protective hold, I felt that way—as if he were mine.

  Now he just smiled wide as he shouldered his way through.